Recently today was once again slapped in the face by life multiple times. Michael and Adriana still appear to be nonexistent. No calls, no texts, no answers, nor replies. The A/C unit next door still remains dormant, which means they aren't there. Not even an angry message finally explaining to me how the fuck I screwed up this time. Nothing. Adriana's phone seems to be out of service too. I checked by using my mom's phone, which confirmed that she didn't block my number. It's actually out of le service. Next I dialed Michael's number, and left a voice mail. Five seconds later, what do you know, he rings. Confusingly says hello, but I goofed up. I was talking in a creeper voice when I answered and then laughed hysterically when I recognized I sounded like a drag queen choking on jizz. Then, click, he hangs up. I called and left an apologetic voice mail, once again explaining the reason for bugging them.(Have some clothes for Adriana) Sent a text reading what was said in the second voice mail. Turned out I sent it to the wrong person... I sent it to Adriana, whose phone is currently unavailable. I deserve another dumbass award to add to my collection...
Next on the agenda. My second little lover is also missing from my life. But it would look like he did text me a little while ago asking me who I was. Told him my name and sent him a picture. I then proceeded to ask if this was him. No answer. Hopefully he's okay and lost my number or something. Instead of having his phone stolen, being drunk, random person texting me. So hopefully, he's okay and we're okay. But I have a pretty good feeling he'll be back around pretty soon along with lover numbre uno. Whom still comes around every so often.
Feeling pretty low. Bought some shit to cheer my stupid ass up. Worked a little. I'm really just lonesome. That's all. Well, that and insomnia. I just imagine I'm sleeping next someone or with more people. I honestly don't sleep well alone. I've always been like that since I was a baby, but it got additionally worse when I lived with my god-sister, since we always slept together. I hate being alone. I mean, I don't want to sleep with my mom though or Rodger. I'd be way happier with Adriana and Michael, or Shebly... God I miss her. You know? Like a close friend, someone that I favor. When I'm alone, I'm uncomfortable, I feel sick and upset, I'm restless, just a mess really. But when I'm sleeping with somebody(ies) I'm happy, content, and relaxed. I sleep well, I still have nightmares though(oh well, you can't have everything). Sadly though, pillows and resistant cats aren't the same. But combining them with imagination, music, sleeping pills, a full belly, and cosiness, it's okay for the most part as long as I don't think too hard and stay on the positive side of thinking.(Letting your mind race into bad thoughts and memories is no bueno)
Well, I need to eat and sleep so I can be alive in the morning instead of the ever-so-irritable-menstrual-zombie. I'm done ranting for now. Cheers.
Thankies for readinz,
superanimay
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