Arizona Lemon Tea

That's what I'm sipping right now. This crap is awesome.

Today was good but I failed. Majorly. First day of school. It was okay. I like it so far. Probably going to get in my ex's face tomorrow, just to cut him down, so he'll leave me and my friends(the very few I have) alone. Meh... Never in the back door kids. You'll be crying like a drowning baby. Painful? YES. Turn on? NOOOOOO!!! Most wretched thing in the world. Porn stars like it you say? Nope, they don't. They just like the money.

But I did get to be exposed we'll say to absolute just squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hehehehe I love him... Alot... Best part? He's all mine and I'm all his... Forever -victory dances-

I love him... so much... 

And then there was none

I'm lost please find me. I think I am. My head hurts and I keep ripping my nail off my thumb. I don't like it there, it makes me think of Autumn. I keep getting mad. Real mad. It's like I just don't care anymore. I'm cold and apathetic to everyone and everything. I want to see people get hurt. But I don't want to hurt some people. I want to hurt them. I feel bad. My head is so grey and foggy. I miss Luis. I feel normal and clear and calm when he's around. I need him. I want him. I don't like the voices. I can't tell anyone though. I have to keep quiet, or they'll send me away again cause they don't understand. They don't see them. That makes me sad. But I feel proud. Why? Because they chose me. They chose me and no one else. Because they picked me when I was little. They wanted to be MY friend. All mine. But they get mean and they hit me. I don't always understand why but I'm not supposed to, that's what Susan told me. They hurt me. And I cry and I get told to shut up. My friends hurt me. They didn't use to. But they got mean over the years. And quite a bit worse abruptly I think. But I'm not sure. I miss Luis. He keeps me safe. They're fucking with me again. Make them stop it. I'm getting upset. I don't like them. They scare me. Make them stop. Help me. But none of you can help me. None of you. I just want Luis. I don't want them to hurt Luis. They told me they're gonna. I begged them no. And they didn't touch him yet. Maybe they won't since I begged. My head is heavy. And it's all bruised up. And it bleeds sometimes, cause they hit me and pull my hair really hard. I throw up sometimes cause they punch me in the stomach and I smell bad things. And I see real bad things too, very bad things. They told me to carve Moma up like a turkey one day. But I don't want to. I ran away cause things get bad and I need Luis so I can breathe and sleep and be okay. I need to sleep but I can't. I'm too scared. I don't like this. But Luis is asleep and he can't help me anyways cause I scare him. I don't want to scare him. I want to make him happy and keep him safe. I'm confused about my location. Like where I am. Am I asleep? Or am I awake? I hear them. Always. No medicine can help me. I need Luis and I'll be okay. I'm not crazy. It's these damn pills and these demons. I hate this. I wanna see Luis. Please let me see Luis.

So this is my Blog.

Well hello and thank you for reading this little post here. This blog is just going to be me blogging about my day or week or whatever I freaking feel like... Frickin Frackin...
Blah... I'll introduce myself in the morning. But now... I'm to tired to do anything so bleh...

Kawaii food and bunnehs make everything better, wouldn't you say so?