And then there was none

I'm lost please find me. I think I am. My head hurts and I keep ripping my nail off my thumb. I don't like it there, it makes me think of Autumn. I keep getting mad. Real mad. It's like I just don't care anymore. I'm cold and apathetic to everyone and everything. I want to see people get hurt. But I don't want to hurt some people. I want to hurt them. I feel bad. My head is so grey and foggy. I miss Luis. I feel normal and clear and calm when he's around. I need him. I want him. I don't like the voices. I can't tell anyone though. I have to keep quiet, or they'll send me away again cause they don't understand. They don't see them. That makes me sad. But I feel proud. Why? Because they chose me. They chose me and no one else. Because they picked me when I was little. They wanted to be MY friend. All mine. But they get mean and they hit me. I don't always understand why but I'm not supposed to, that's what Susan told me. They hurt me. And I cry and I get told to shut up. My friends hurt me. They didn't use to. But they got mean over the years. And quite a bit worse abruptly I think. But I'm not sure. I miss Luis. He keeps me safe. They're fucking with me again. Make them stop it. I'm getting upset. I don't like them. They scare me. Make them stop. Help me. But none of you can help me. None of you. I just want Luis. I don't want them to hurt Luis. They told me they're gonna. I begged them no. And they didn't touch him yet. Maybe they won't since I begged. My head is heavy. And it's all bruised up. And it bleeds sometimes, cause they hit me and pull my hair really hard. I throw up sometimes cause they punch me in the stomach and I smell bad things. And I see real bad things too, very bad things. They told me to carve Moma up like a turkey one day. But I don't want to. I ran away cause things get bad and I need Luis so I can breathe and sleep and be okay. I need to sleep but I can't. I'm too scared. I don't like this. But Luis is asleep and he can't help me anyways cause I scare him. I don't want to scare him. I want to make him happy and keep him safe. I'm confused about my location. Like where I am. Am I asleep? Or am I awake? I hear them. Always. No medicine can help me. I need Luis and I'll be okay. I'm not crazy. It's these damn pills and these demons. I hate this. I wanna see Luis. Please let me see Luis.